Sexual Secrets Ch. 09
Logan Temple and Aidan Simmons were college roommates out enjoying their last full day of summer vacation together, and they had driven up to Twin Peaks to hike around and take in the unbelievably spectacular views of the San Francisco area. These peaks were the only hills in San Francisco not to have been built over, a place the Spaniards had termed, "Los pechos de la Chola" -- Breasts of the Indian Maiden -- and it was the last place on their list to visit.
Almost from the onset of their freshman year at college, Logan and Aidan had formed a close bond as they discovered all the things they shared in common. Then, quite unexpectedly when Logan walked in on Aidan jerking off, the two boys started bonding in other, more personal, ways. Over time, Logan fell in love with his roommate while it had taken Aidan longer to eventually come around to the same conclusion.
Aidan was from Framingham, Massachusetts but had come out to the Bay Area after being invited to spend the summer with Logan, who resided south of San Francisco in the Hillsborough Heights section of San Mateo in the heart of Silicon Valley. They had secured jobs at a local Starbucks, which kept them very busy and, more importantly, earning money that would see them through the next school year. Since they were staying at Logan's house and keeping their expenses to a minimum, each was able to put away a fairly respectable amount -- thanks in large part to the generous tips people left, which were always split evenly between the staff.
When they weren't working, Aidan and Logan took some time to see the sights of San Francisco and to do all the touristy things that Logan, despite having lived in the area for half his life, had never taken advantage of. They rode the cable cars and visited Chinatown; wandered around Fisherman's Wharf and enjoyed delicious, fresh seafood; took a ferry to tour the infamous Alcatraz and rode bikes across the equally famous Golden Gate Bridge. They also spent one wonderful afternoon at Golden Gate Park and even took in a baseball game at the AT&T ballpark to watch the Giants lose to the Cincinnati Reds 6-4.
Now, as the sun made its long descent toward the distant horizon, they sat in silence, comfortable in each other's company and lost in their own thoughts. They would be returning to the small liberal arts college they attended in Central Maine the next day. While Logan was especially excited and anxious to go back and to be on the other side of the country, Aidan found himself feeling increasingly reluctant. In addition to falling in love with his roommate, Aidan had also fallen in love with the West Coast and was nowhere near as eager to return to the New England region.
Truthfully, Aidan had been feeling increasingly discouraged since the middle of summer, after he and Logan spent a day at San Gregorio beach to celebrate the Fourth of July. Something that had started out completely innocent in nature -- just a couple of friends spending the day at the beach (I mean, honestly, how much more American can you get?) -- ended up becoming a shocking and horrifying experience for both boys, but especially for Logan.
While at the beach that day, the boys became acquainted with a group of slightly older guys who were very generous in sharing their beer before deciding to assault them individually. After being forcibly molested by two of them, Aidan managed to break free and began searching frantically for Logan who had quickly disappeared from view.
When he came upon his friend, trapped inside a small alcove almost indistinguishable from a distance, Logan was being raped by one guy while face fucked by another. Consumed with rage, through some miracle Aidan fended off the attackers and fled the scene with Logan in tow. Then, for good measure, he finished off the final assailant by knocking him to the sand and stepping on his scrotum until one of his nuts burst.
Aidan had never experienced anger like that before. It had been a fury so immense and overwhelming, so completely out of his control, that he had difficulty remembering exactly what had happened. Just recollecting the incident scared him tremendously. Although, to be honest, Aidan had never faced a situation like that before either and reasoned that he had done what he needed in order to rescue his best friend.
Surprisingly -- or, maybe not so surprisingly -- it was only after this event that Aidan finally admitted his love for Logan, openly and without reservation. Yet, while it might have been bad timing on his part, it ended up being just the thing his roommate needed to hear in order to begin the healing process. However, since that unfortunate day, Logan had gradually become more and more distant -- more withdrawn than Aidan had ever seen him -- as the shock of the event wore off and Logan was left searching for answers.
Logan was a reserved individual by nature and rather slow to open up to others. It took him a while to get comfortable with someone before he could let down his guard and be the funny and entertaining person that he naturally was. But, after what happened to him, Logan became almost detached from life. He kept to himself while he struggled to come to terms with everything he had gone through.
To his credit, Aidan backed off and allowed Logan the space and time he needed. What else could he do? He certainly understood that his best friend had experienced something completely unimaginable, and he also understood that this was not something that could be quickly resolved or easily fixed. The encounter had been traumatic for both of them but Logan had clearly suffered the most. The pain and agony of that day continued to haunt him, and he would have to learn to trust people all over again -- including the best friend and roommate who was in love with him.
Regardless, the longer Logan spent retreating, the more concerned Aidan became. While the experience had drawn them together in a closer, more emotional way at first, it had also driven a wedge between them physically and Aidan simply had no way of knowing how long his friend would need to heal.
Reaching out to hold his hand, Aidan told him, "I love you." Despite taking him months to finally say it, now that he had, Aidan couldn't seem to stop saying it. He liked saying it, and he liked the way Logan smiled at him each and every time he said it -- like at this particular instant.
"I love you too," Logan responded, then turned his head back toward the setting sun as he squeezed his friend's hand. It was enough for Logan to know that his best friend loved him and was there for him. For now, that would do. For now, that was all he wanted.
Most people had always regarded Logan as good looking but because he was quiet and shy, his true personality rarely shown through. He had never had much success with romance either. Then again, most people who are only nineteen probably haven't experienced much in the way of romance. Any sexual adventures up to that point in life usually stem only from curiosity and lust.
Logan had experienced a few sexual encounters, all with women, before going to college. He had even fallen in love with a girl in high school, but those feelings had not been mutual and Logan had gotten hurt the very first time he put his heart on the line.
Everything changed when he became roommates with Aidan and discovered he was attracted to another male. Not only that, but Aiden seemed equally attracted to him, even telling Logan he was "hot," something nobody had ever associated with him before. Up to that point, Logan had never so much as thought of another guy romantically. But, Aidan wasn't just another guy. He was one of the best guys Logan had ever known, and he had fallen in love not only with Aidan's good looks but equally with his roommate's outgoing personality.
Still, every single sexual experience Logan had ever had, whether with a guy or a girl, had been safe. More importantly, it had been mutual and measured with a level of respect centered on unselfish actions. Then came the incident at San Gregorio beach this summer -- and that shattered everything Logan had ever known or thought with regard to sex, and also about being gay. He was having a tough time wrapping his head around everything that had happened to him -- completely unsure how to deal with it or how to let it go.
Since the encounter, Logan had further suffered from one horrible nightmare after another where he was forced to relive the experience and pain all over again. It was enough to threaten the stability of even the most mentally acute of people. A part of him wanted to just dump the whole sordid affair like a sack of garbage. The problem was, Logan didn't know how or where to dump it and was sure there was no sanitation truck that would come along to haul his living nightmare away.
When the sun had disappeared, turning the clouds beautiful shades of scarlet and orange, and a cool chill set in across the Bay, Logan looked over to his friend. "Ready?"
Nodding his head slowly, Aidan replied, "Yeah...I guess so." It didn't take a genius to see how reluctant his friend was to leave. For as anxious as Logan was to fly east and resume college, Aidan was equally hesitant to go and could have spent the rest of his life right where he was.
Sliding down off the hood, Logan walked around and got into the driver's side as Aidan scooted off and stared out across the landscape. "Christ -- I'm gonna miss this," he said out loud. Absorbing the breathtaking scene and smelling the sweet fragrance of the ocean air one last time, Aidan sighed heavily before climbing into his side of the car.
Later that night, after the boys had packed up their belongings in order to make an early exit the following morning, they lay in bed together as they did every night. At least that hadn't changed and, in fact, had become something Logan seemed to need more than ever.
As they snuggled close to each other, Logan wrapped his left arm around Aidan's shoulders as his best friend rested against his chest listening to the rhythmic sounds of a heartbeat. "Thank you," Logan suddenly whispered.
"For what?" Aidan asked instinctively.
In the hush and stillness of the dark bedroom, Logan took several breaths before answering. "For everything." After a few more long exhales he continued. "Rescuing me for one. And...for...well, just being here."
Completely unsure how to respond, Aidan kept quiet but slid his left hand over Logan's bare chest and planted a kiss on the only spot available to him -- the soft space just below the collarbone.
Giving Aidan a little squeeze, Logan took a deep breath. "Hopefully it will help being back at college. I'll have schoolwork to keep me busy and great friends to hang with."
Remaining silent, Aidan kept his thoughts to himself but couldn't help feeling a bit doubtful. With the exception of a few outings here and there, Logan had been very busy with work all summer and that hadn't seemed to help lessen his pain. Although, maybe being on the other side of the country -- far away from where they were at this particular moment -- might prove beneficial. A change of location and scenery certainly couldn't hurt.
Roaming his hand down to graze the softness of Logan's curly pubic hair, Aidan wondered when they might actually start fooling around again. Naturally, he wanted to be respectful. He knew Logan would be in no hurry to mess around. On the other hand, Aidan was a healthy, horny nineteen-year-old who needed to bust a nut -- sometimes two or three on any given day. While he certainly had continued to take care of his business, he preferred the company of his best friend and the guy he was madly in love with.
Since the incident at the beach, some six weeks earlier, Logan and Aidan had only messed around twice. And it could hardly have been considered messing around as they just jacked off together while watching porn -- a throwback to their earliest inclinations together. No touching of any kind. No sucking each other. Nothing other than jerking their own pipes -- and that only out of a complete necessity to cum.
Still, Aidan loved his friend and was willing to give him the time he needed to work through this difficult episode in his life. Moving his hand down, Aidan cupped his roommate's balls. Just the feel of Logan's package in his hands turned Aidan on, and his own dick began to sprout under the covers. Like usual, he would wait until Logan drifted off to sleep before quietly slipping out of the bed to go spank himself in the bathroom. For the moment, he nestled his face next to Logan's neck -- smelling his wonderful tropical scent -- and held onto his flaccid penis and balls, taking what comfort he could in how nice it felt.
Over twenty-four hours later and thirty-two hundred miles away, deep in the woods of Central Maine, Aidan and Logan were in their dorm room beginning the process of acclimating back into college life. By luck, they were allowed to keep the same dorm room they had for freshman year, although probably because the people in charge of such things found it easier just to have them remain there.
They had left very early that morning to catch a 7:00am flight to Chicago with a connection to Portland, Maine, then waited for a college shuttle to deliver them to their campus. By the time they were finally back in the comfort and security of their own dorm it was just after 10:00pm, although their brains were still functioning on Pacific Time.
Aidan unpacked his things before heading out to say hello and reconnect with friends from the previous year. Conveniently, many of the people he had gotten to know his freshman year were still in the same dorm, but there were also many new faces sprinkled around as well. Logan chose to stay put in the dorm room where he sat on his flimsy single mattress watching a movie on Netflix.
Aiden had tried to coax his friend out of their room, telling him it would be good for him, that they would have some much needed fun, etc. But, no dice. Logan seemed happy enough to be back in college, and maybe that was the first step -- Aidan didn't know but decided to leave the matter well enough alone.
And so it began -- their sophomore year at college commenced with both boys quickly establishing new routines while keeping true to some familiar ones as well. Between classes and work study obligations, the boys were kept pretty busy throughout the day, only reconnecting just briefly before dinner as they walked to the dining hall together and ate with friends.
Yet, even in these settings Logan just wasn't himself and it had been immediately evident to everyone. When they asked questions of Aidan, all he could do was shrug his shoulders. He figured in time they would either stop asking or Logan would snap out of it and start acting normal.
After these dinners, which were always a raucous affair of noise and laughter by everyone except Logan, the roommates would head back to their room to work on any assignments or reading before engaging themselves in whatever dorm activities were happening. Although, Aidan was the only one to venture out after his studies were complete. Logan chose to remain in the dorm room, night after night, either playing video games or watching movies.
After trying in vain for the better part of two weeks to get Logan to come with him, to get out of the room and have some fun or change the scenery, Aidan gave up. If Logan wanted to spend time alone that was his business, but he was not going to let it stop him from getting out and socializing.
Equally sad for Aidan, in addition to the absence of his friend's company, they no longer adhered to the rule of being naked when it was just the two of them in their room.
This was something they had begun early in their freshman year, right after they started watching porn and jerking off together. For a few days after their arrival back at school Aidan had thought of bringing it up, especially as it had been something both of them enjoyed the previous year and was usually what precipitated some sexual fun between them. But, just as Aidan gave up on trying to convince his roommate to come out with him, he also dispelled with the notion of hanging out naked.
What mattered even more was the fact that they no longer slept in the same bed each night. This had always been one of the best features of their relationship together. There was a lot to be said for being physically close to someone -- a secure and comforting feeling of belonging and love -- and with this aspect now altered, along with everything else it seemed, sophomore year was proving to be much more challenging than Aidan would have imagined.
Despite all the change, Aidan tried his best to be patient and understanding of Logan. He loved his friend very much and wanted nothing more than to help him in any way that he could. However, as the weeks passed and Logan remained closed off and no closer to being his old self, Aidan began to lose the patience and understanding he had been working so hard to keep in place.
On his worst days, Aidan was overcome by anger and selfishness and wanted to yell at his friend. But, he never did. He simply found excuses not to be in their room and left Logan alone. When he was being completely honest with himself, Aidan was most upset about never being able to fool around with the person he was in love with. While Logan had been able to somehow turn off the switch that made him horny, Aidan had no such luck or inclination to do so. Predictably, this led to their first real fight.
It was toward the end of October, when the nights really started to get long and the cool autumn air took on the crispness and chill of things to come. Aidan had finished his homework and was preparing to leave while Logan sat morosely on his mattress staring at yet another movie on his laptop. For some reason Aidan decided to try, yet again, to persuade his friend into coming with him.
When Logan barely mumbled a reply Aidan unleashed his anger. "Jesus Christ, Logan. You need to snap the fuck out of it. I'm sick of it. All you do is sit there and stare at your laptop. This is college for Christ's sake. Get off your ass and do something. Come out with me. Try to have a little fun instead of sitting there feeling sorry for yourself and marinating in your own pity." The words had flown out of his mouth so quickly and so unexpectedly it surprised Aidan almost as much as it did Logan.
Staring at his friend with a blank expression, all Logan could do was blink. His eyes brimmed with tears for just a moment before the hurt was replaced with an anger all of his own. "Fuck you! You're just pissed because I'm not fooling around with you. God forbid you don't get to cum multiple times a day!"
Aidan's mouth flew open wide as he screamed, "WHAT?!?!"
"You fucking heard me," Logan answered, glaring at him with hatred in his eyes. "Sorry I'm not sucking your dick every day. That's all you care about anyway."
Aidan couldn't believe what he was hearing. After everything he had done for Logan, this was what his friend really thought about him? "Oh my God," he replied with exasperation. He stared around the room trying to compose his thoughts while still digesting what Logan had said. Then, most unexpectedly for Aidan, it was his turn to show emotion. His eyes filled with tears as his bottom lip began to quiver.
Seeing his friend's reaction rocked Logan to the core. Aidan had always been in complete control of himself and his emotions, and seeing his best friend and roommate in this way pained him deeply. He lowered his head to stare at his lap. He couldn't possibly look at Aidan.r"
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